Funny Story - Murphy's Law

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.  A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of plotted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.  It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.  She let out a very loud scream.  The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was.  She told him there was a snake under the sofa.  He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt.  He though the snake had bitten him, so he fainted.  His wife though he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance.  The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.  About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.  That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man.  He volunteered to capture the snake.  He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.  Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.  But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around.  She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.  The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping sees her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.  An ambulance was called and it was determined that he required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake.  She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.  By now the police had arrived.  They saw the unconscious man,. smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred.  They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.  They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch.  One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.  He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa.  The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.  the other policeman tired to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to miss it and hit a tree.  Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing.  Neighbors had called the fire department an the arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street.  The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area.
Time passed- both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was rebuilt, and all was right with the world.  About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for the night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.  She slapped him!

Give a mouse a cookie

So this story isn't about me it's about my friend Jesse.  He is off track next semester so the room he was staying in was going to be vacant and i guess another guy started moving his stuff into the room before Jesse even left, which was ok, but annoying for Jesse.  So to waste his time away from his apartment, he came over to my apartment to say goodbyes and to hang out for a bit.  We ended up playing phase 10 for like an hour with my roommate Kelly and her boyfriend Jonathan, it was a lot of fun. While we were playing i got the hiccups, which if you know me well, i get them all of the time.  It's kind of annoying but funny at the same time because their just little hiccups but annoying.  Well whenever I hiccup Jesse laughs and he has a great laugh but he doesn't laugh often enough so I'm glad when he does finally laugh.  That was the best part of the evening. 
That is until he had finally left to go home to get some sleep and he text me because this guy was still moving in and he had a ton of stuff, and the guy had the audacity to eat Jesse's cookie.  How lame is that?  Poor Jesse, losing his room and just lost his cookie.  So I made M & M cookies for him and myself, I love me some M & M cookies =D   So he stopped by Saturday morning to drop off a Tupperware container they had borrowed and to see goodbye again...oh yeah and to pick up his cookies.